Archive for the ‘General Ridicularity’ Category

THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE INTERNET

Thursday, September 10th, 2009

comicsI’ve had a weird week. The decision to finally end BAREATER LAKE on Halloween of this year, coupled with the growing realization that comic strips are becoming less of a career and more of a novelty has me in the dumps.

Don’t get me wrong, having an end game for BL is a load off my mind, but with that load comes the reminder of what could have been. The pitch and development of that strip came right when things in the comic strip world were teetering on the brink. Circumstances beyond my control caused my syndicate at the time to push BARKEATER LAKE aside, with a promise of “Lets see how it does online and revisit the idea in six months”.

If I had a time machine, I’d go back and slap my former self in the head, and tell the syndicate, “Thanks, but no thanks.”
But I don’t have a Flux Capacitor and they moved BARKEATER to the comics.com site. The feature consistently made the top 10 in traffic, but all I ever heard was “It would get killed in Newspapers.” Having worked in the business for several years now, I have a greater understanding of how the system works and that it usually has nothing to do with how great the strip is, it’s what’s being sold or not sold at the time. So, there is a decent chance that they were right and it may have gotten murdered in print.

Why do I bring up all this ancient history, other than to wax nostalgic? I’ll tell you why: All the lessons I’ve learned, all the experiences I’ve had with syndicates and their editors are now worthless. I’ve committed 15 years of my life to a career that may no longer exist within the next decade. I’ve risen to a level that once meant I could be set for life, only to get a slap in the face that “I’d better adapt or die”.

I don’t know what would have happened if BARKEATER got launched in papers. I could very well be still writing this piece even if it had. Nothing’s a sure thing, but with the way things are now, pitching a new feature like BL is almost not worth the work and the fact that I’m in this position is nearly all my own fault. I tend to believe in things to the bitter end. I believed in BARKEATER LAKE at United Media for too long and it’s possible I’m repeating my mistake by believing in newspaper syndication past its viable opportunities. My feeling now is that I’ve been working too long and too hard for a prize that’s fading away. It may be time to take stock of my work, thank those who helped me get here, acknowledge my accomplishments thus far and kindly bow out.  If my hunch is correct, it is quite possible that in five years, Fake Rockstar, LLC will have nothing to do with comic strips.

That’s the bad news and the reason I can’t find my way to getting dressed before 2pm as of late. So, how about some good news: I’ve fully embraced and accepted the situation and I may not know where I’ll end up, but I’m pretty sure of where I won’t. The future of comic strips is not the Internet, at least not for me. I imagine I’ll always draw some sort of comic strip and I may occasionally post it online, but the time of trying to make my entire living on webcomics has come and passed.  Sure, I’ll keep printing little books of my stuff for sale, as long as the small number of loyal fans stick around, but that income will be gravy on top of whatever else it is that I do.

What will that “else” be? I have no idea, but it will be something where I get to make people laugh. As it turns out, those 15 years as a crippled rising star in comics did teach me a few valuable things.  I’ve learned how to write – Something I’ve always had trouble with. I have a lot of work to do, but the inspiring people I’ve meant along the way can only benefit my efforts. This all may end me up in animation, or writing sketches for comedy shows. Or at the very least, making myself giggle in the mirror. Who knows! Whatever it is I end up doing for work, it will be new and refreshing, if only for a short while, and that excites me.

I guess what it all boils down to is that my time in the comic strip genre is short. I will continue to draw and write the ELDERBERRIES as long as U/U will have me. It is a blessing that I’ve been able to work on such a great strip and I thank Phil and Susan Frank for making me a part of it. If my current ideas, TOBY, ROBOT SATAN and GREENE WITH ENVY don’t find some sort of success within the next year, I imagine they will meet a similar end to BARKEATER LAKE’s. I have no interest in producing them into my 40s for little compensation, as a webcomic, or otherwise.

Let me end this weirdness by making it clear I am not giving up. I am simply acknowledging the writing on the wall. I still plan to give the features I have my full attention and hard work, I just know now that there is an end game. I also may not know what it is I want to be, but I have learned what I don’t want to be. I am not a salesman, marketing guru, or an entertainment representative. If the future success of comic strips means wearing all those hats, while still trying to be creative on a daily basis, I’m not interested. I’m very bad at it and the stress of attempting it has accelerated the graying my hair and the ulcers of my stomach.

I am optimistic and excited about the future. I am still excited about my current projects, but mostly I’m excited I’ve finally realized that if you don’t agree with how things are going, it is okay to let them go and move on.

Yours in the Marty Mcflys and hover conversions,

Corey “FRS” Pandolph

25 Random Things

Wednesday, January 28th, 2009

1. Lamp

2. Toast

3. Plastic

4. Fleece

5. Bottle cap

6. Rug

7. Plutonium

8. Doggy dew

9. Whiskey

10. Bacon

11. Chunks

12. Fur

13. Jelly

14. Crespo

15. Hickory

16. Purple

17. TOBY!

18. Tincture of Benzoin

19. Packing tape

20. Weather

21. Gypsies

22. Lint

23. Rawhide

24. Flapjack

25. HULK!

Cryptic excerpts from an unsuccessfully subtle doctor

Thursday, January 22nd, 2009

new4_good

“Someone’s been in the kitchen with death.”

“Looks like the Doozers are back in Fraggle Rock. That can’t be good.”

“Basically, your liver’s late for dinner”

“Not even Cameron could save Ferris”

“Picture yourself as the lame caribou of the herd, but you have a jet pack and a light saber.”

“How’s my favorite terminal success story today?”

“I don’t know tumors, but I know what I like…”

“If I were to place you in the witness protection program, I’d call you ‘Lumpy McHotchkins.”

Yet another blog list of 2009 predictions

Saturday, January 10th, 2009

… But these are all true and fer reals…

1. Newspapers will be triumphantly resurrected as the Nation’s cold climate populace realizes junk mail is  just too glossy to start fires.

2.The Yankees will win the World Series, sending Boston fans back to their bitter, worthless lives, thus returning the Earth to its proper axis.

3. Bubbles. Millions of them. We won’t know where or when.

4. Dr. Phil will physically merge with Oprah Winfrey, to become a giant bi-polar hermaphrodite with Southern charm and propensity to spend cash on everything seen on, or near a celebrity. “Dr. Phoprah” becomes the Democratic nominee in 2012.

5. Somebody will piss me off. I won’t know where or when.

6. Spring will follow Winter, with Summer following Spring, giving way to Fall and then onto a total erasure of the World’s population, due to a cancer cure gone wrong and Will Smith’s incompetence.

7. Sean Crepso will reveal his true identity as the guy on “Psyche”.

8. I will lose 40 pounds – You here me, guy-I-never-met-before-but-felt-he-needed-to-point-out-my-weight-problem-on-New-Year’s Eve? Yeah, you. I’m lookin’ at you. Jerk.

9. Freejack.

10. I will be spotted at Gritty McDuff’s in Portland, Maine.